The Wall

So I figured anyone who is reading this might want an update on what's been going on. It's been a really long time since my last post and a lot has happened. Last time I wrote, I was standing in the kitchen and God was working on the mess that was me. He caught me off guard and taught me that no matter how hard I try, I will still have things abgout me that I don't like and there will be some people that don't like me and that's fine. As I was standing here learning this lesson, I found out what has turned out to be one of the most significant discoveries of my entire lifetime. I have severe AD/HD. Somehow I was never tested growing up, but the specialists say they are surprised it was never caught. Most kids grow out of it but there are some of us who are left with it through adulthood. What does this mean for me? Not a huge difference but it means that I have a better chance of succeeding at the things that matter the most to me now. I started my meds a week ago and have already noticed a huge difference. I think this may solve the problems I have been having at work both with focus and breaks. It's kind of freeing even though it means I will have to be on medication probably for the rest of my life. I mean there are worse things that could happen. What does this mean for you, my friends? Well, first of all, it means I might actually remember your birthday for once. That's always been one of my biggest frustrations. My short term memory has been affected by the AD/HD so now when I think of your birthday 3 weeks before hand, I will actually be able to keep it in my brain and possibly remember to call you on your birthday. Also, it means when we talk about doing projects or getting together, there's a good chance they will get done. It will be a while before I get the ones I've already started done, but I will get there. I still don't like the idea that I'm "broken" (faulty thinking from growing up in my family) but I will get over it as soon as I start seeing the fruits of my labours. I love you all and just so you know I probably won't be posting here very often for a while. God is asking me to go back to blogging this as it was supposed to be when I started. I wanted this to be a blog of my journey towards being a worship leader. Right now, that dream is on hold while other things happen in my life. It may start up again in the fall, but for now, there will only be posts about major things that will affect me becoming a worship leader.