How is it that so often I find my knees stiff again? I wish to live my life in submission to God but so many times there are so many things vying for my attention. The last time someone in a church hurt me, I separated church from God in my heart. Going to church didn't necessarily lead to the throne room so it wasn't necessary for my faith. I am not alone and I am not in the dark, but I am surrounded by darkness. I don't like it. I have made excuses for different aspects of my life not being in submission to God. I have justified it by saying that I am learning tolerance, I think it is to put away childish things again.
The things I leave on the table outside:
-My Pride
-My dreams - this one is hard. Lord, help me to set aside my dreams for now. You are not asking me to forget about them, just to wait for you to fulfill them.
-my expectations
Lord, I am afraid to be on my face again, but that is where you love me. Prostrated begins with my knees and my heart. Lord, I confess to you my fear, my pride and my anxiety. I come naked and burdened to the floor of the throne room. I leave my wants at the door. Help me to come back to you. Help me to live from the throne room. Trusting in you to renew me. Help me to see your will Lord and help me to be okay with what you don't show me.Thank you for my family. The people who already care enough to look in on me when I am troubled. Help me to reach out to them rather than try to hide. I love you and am glad you have saved me from myself. Remind me daily of the things you want from me.
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