Silence is Golden

So I have a terrible tendancy to do too much in life. I want to do so many things, I never get anything done. I was doing good last summer with keeping a balance and being firm with my boundaries, but now, I am overworked at school, overworked at work, being asked to join several ministries at church. The silence here is not a silence of avoidance, but asilence of activity. I am terribly missing each and every one of my friends who are so diligent about checking on my personal health. I'm glad I have friends who care so much about me. I am into a new season in my life. I used to panic at every event about the pain and frustration that it might bring, but I have moved to a place where I know God is only letting me feel the kind of pain I can handle. If I can't handle it, I am to leave it in his hands. The journey to relinquishing my fears and desires to him has been extremely long and at times very painful. It has meant that I am constantly faced with choosing between my desires and God's. Ultimately, if we have a desire that conflicts with God's, what does it gainus to pursue it? He will not make the way light if it is not his will and he will not bless the endeavour. Knowing that God has only our best interests in mind, and knowing that he constantly dotes on us, looking for an opportunity to bless us no matter how roundabout that opportunity becomes, I am amazed that I survived my own selfishness. My Lord has given me the desires of my heart because I said to him, you can have yours first. I never realized that he was always working to get me those desires, but making sure that I would appreciate them when I got there. My heart comes before God grateful. My cup keeps running and running and running and no matter how many times I remind him that he is wasting the wine, he insists on pouring it still. I serve a God who calms fears and teaches us how to love and fellowship. How great is He? The friends in my life could never be traded for anything in the world. They are more important to me than anything and I love them very much. That means you too Jennybenny. I turn my eyes to the saviour and know that I will survive this world and go to see him someday. I'll write more when I get time, but it has been a blessed journey with the help of my spiritual guide.