If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me.

-Matthew 10:39 (the Message)

Friday 6 June 2008

The Cure...ok so not so much, but some hope anyway

So As I have said before, I suffer severely from PMS. For most they just get a little moody and irritable. For me, I harbour false feelings of self loathing and hatred for almost anything that moves until one day I can't take the negativity anymore. I explode in a weeping puddle of emotional goo unsure of what to think of myself and others. We have recently been trying to get my mood swings under control with little success. My husband started tracking when my PMS was coming so he could duck and cover, but it still left me frustrated because I almost always ruin 1 relationship in that explosion. This month I stayed on it. I didn't let myself binge when the feelings started to hurt and started taking midol for the moods. It made the 2 weeks prior a lot easier to take. I went into full PMS a little more level headed and was able to avoid major problems. I still had problems though. Today my manager challenged me because I've been acting up lately to get some attention and I ended up overreacting. Going in to the meeting I was still level headed, but by the end I was a mess. It only took a minute, but everything that has made me fall apart every other month happened in a matter of about 20 minutes. I could probably tell you exactly when it's going to happen next month. That's how regular it is. My mom thinks I should check with my doctor and get my hormone levels checked. I won't se him until after my vacation but I guess we'll see.

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