Monday 10 September 2007
Who's This For?
So I am forced to ask myself who this little project is for. I am frequently finding myself checking this blog hoping desperately that someone will have posted a comment that will affirm me. I have to remember that this site asn't about other people affirming who I am. It's about me being myself without wondering if people are okay with it. To tell you the truth, the hardest time to go through this is when you're PMSing. Sorry guys, but it's the truth. I have about a week every month that I wonder if I am good enough to be alive. I question why God saved my life. I wonder if anyone will miss me when I'm gone (Not that I'm leaving soon, I just contemplate weird stuff). It's funny, because I know God tries constantly to affirm me himself and yet, I seek out a physical and tangible source for affection and affirmation. Someday I will be able to let myself feel the constant, undying love God has for all of His children.
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4 comments:
Sorry to be a not-so-commenty type of person. I often don't have any words to say. But please know that I regularly and eagerly check your blog to see if you've posted anything new. Thanks for sharing yourself through this avenue.
I am the same as Michelle. (sorry I deleted my other because I mispelled something...drat the randomness of human error.... :D)
Leah, there is one thing that I believe you need to learn...how to accept yourself as you are, because in reading bits and pieces of your blog I am begginning to see a side of you that I have only had glimpses of in the 10+ years I have known you. I know it's much easier said than done but if you just accept & love your self as you are and make no excuses, just say here I am, take me or leave me then others will follow. It just seems to me that often times you are trying to be someone that you feel other people want you to be, when you should just be yourself and if some people don't like it, then tough on them. You are a wonderful person, Leah, you always always look on the bright side of things even when your situation isn't what you would prefer, you can always find the good in everything and you are working hard to get to the place you want to be and I believe you will make it. You have made mistakes but I would like to see the person who hasn't and you are working hard to correct the mistakes that can fixed. Your writing is very eloquent and I, for one, like seeing the deep side of you that I don't often get to see. I hope I didn't offend you with anything I have said, but if I have I am very sorry and please let me know if I have, I only say these things out of love.
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